I need to quit my day job
by Grendle1853
Summary: A few days without sleep to Batman lead to a bad morning at work for Mr.Wayne. Oneshot


I in no way try to claim that I own anything of DC comics. As such there is no need to sue me (no money in it either). I'm just trying to play in their world.

The Batman, sans cape and cowl, stands in the center of an elevator heading to one of the higher levels of Wayne tower. Instead of the normal boyish charm that his face usually conveyed out in public, it now conveys an exhausted, grumpy, and something of an undead quality.

You see earlier in the week, the Riddler had stolen a large amount of V42 nerve gas from a government lab. He did not think the green suited man really intended to use the toxin, but his inexperience in chemicals and the likelihood one of the other rouges would want to take it from him, were enough to drive the Batman after him with a vengeance. What followed were three days of three nights of nonstop action and investigation, complete with little rest and **NO **sleep.

At the end of that chase the Batman wanted nothing more then just to curl up in bed. Unfortunately about fifteen minutes after his head hit the pillow, a very apologetic Alfred reminded him that he had a meeting at Wayne Enterprise that he could not miss. Of course the fifteen minutes just made him feel worse.

_Note to self, _Bruce thought, _Kill the Riddler. Repeatedly!_

"Excuse me?" asks the man riding the elevator next to him, "Could you sign this autograph for me Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce glares at the man. It is a glare that frighten Super-villians and heroes alike. Had any member of his "gallery" seen it coming from the face of Bruce Wayne, even the dumbest of them would put two and two together. The public should not see the glare coming form his alter-ego, but it shut the man up and sent him to the corner of the elevator, so at the moment Bruce couldn't find the energy to care.

The door finally opens and Bruce steps into a wide door lined hallway, the boardroom that the meeting will be held in at the very end. As he walks he hears yelling coming from behind one of the doors. Bruce's head is throbbing from a wicked insomnia induced headache and the noise is not making it any better. When he reaches the offending door he opens it and lets himself inside.

Behind the door the Batman finds a large man in his fiftys screaming at a petite young woman(who is somewhere in her mid twentys, obviously a secretary, and on the verge of tears) and swinging a coffee mug about. "I TOLD YOU TO GET ME COFFEE! THIS TASTES LIKE GOAT PISS! WHAT THE HELL...!" the man screams.

"Excuse me...," Wayne interrupts.

The executive turns to face him, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" he commands.

Bruce Wayne gives the man a cold glare, "I'm Batman," he remarks sarcastically. Luckily he remembered to use his "playboy" voice, had he used his real one the man might have believed him.

In a blink of an eye the mans attitude changes, "Oh! My apologies Mr. Wayne..." he says in a smooth calm voice.

"What's your name," Bruce cuts him off.

"Its, um, Dick Shooey. I'm not surprised you don't remember me, we only met...," the man answers.

Bruce interrupts him again, "Mr. Dick Shooey your fired. Security!" he call over his shoulder. A large man in a guard uniform materializes at the door a few seconds later. "Take this man out of my building. Do not let him stop to get anything or talk to anyone, I want him gone as soon as humanly possible," he instructs.

The guard nods his head then steps forward and pulls the shocked man through the door. Mr. Wayne then turns to the blond secretary, "What is your name Ms?" he asks.

"Te...Tenessa Crone," she answers.

"Ms. Crone do you know what kind of drink a Cthulhu is?" Bruce asks her.

The young woman raises an eyebrow, "Um, no?" she answers.

"It is a Mountain Dew mixed with a Red Bull. I will be in the boardroom at the end of the hall. If you can get me a Cthulhu in ten minutes, I will give you Mr. Shooey's old job," he tells her. With that he turns about and walks out the door. As his hand closes on the handle to the boardroom's door, he hears Ms. Crone scurry to the elevator.

Inside several men are seated at a large table, with several more standing at the end, conversing. Bruce takes his seat at the head, Lucius Fox seated at his right hand. "You look like hell," Fox comments.

"I feel like Arkham," Bruce grumbles back.

A few more men and women take a seat at the long table as the meeting is about to begin. The door opens and a woman rushes to Bruce's side, "Mr. Wayne!" she says handing him a drink.

Bruce takes the cup in hand and downs the whole thing in a gulp. Suddenly he feels life surge through his limbs. Not a lot of life, but hopefully enough to stay conscience during the meeting. "Lucius Fox, meet Ms. Tenessa Crone, the new...," he pauses and looks at the woman questioningly.

"Director of public relations," she answers.

Bruce blinks at that. _Figures_. "Ms. Crone you may take the rest of the day off. When you come in tomorrow everything regarding your promotion will be finalized," he tells her.

The girl rambles some thank yous as tears before leaving. "I'll handle it," Lucius tells him, a big smile on his face.

After she leaves the group at the end of the table start their presentation. Bruce makes sure to keep his vacant stare on the speaker as his mind wanders. His tired mind is filled with images of his bedroom. Him lying in the middle of the giant four post bed, his favorite fluffy pillow under his head, the blanket pulled up the his chest, and Diana and Selina lying on either side of him. _Thats funny, _he thinks to himself, _thats the fist time I've ever pictured those two in bed outside of a sexual fantasy. Maybe I'm feeling a deep need for companionship. Or maybe just a warm bed, _He mentally shakes his head, _Or more probably I'm just too tired to even think about sex._

"Mr. Wayne are you even paying attention to what I'm trying to say?" the speaker asks.

"'For all those reasons, this project should continue. Repairing spinal tissue is groundbreaking work and setbacks are inevitable. All we need is a little more patience and we will produce a medical breakthrough,'" Bruce answers in a voice eerily close to the speakers. He can barely hold the Bat out of his voice as he continues, "I am paying perfect attention Mr. Reth. You have ten minutes left."

Mr. Reth gulps and nervously continues his presentation. When he is finished all eyes turn to the head of the table. Wayne closes his eyes and pauses for a bit. When his eyes open again he answers, "You have four months Mr. Reth to bring us some kind of results. After that I am halting your work and placing you and your team on other projects. Meeting adjourned."

After that Bruce stands and quickly makes his exit. _I swear by Diana's gods, if I run into any crime between now and when I get back home and into my bed, the perpetrators will be sorry._

_Please review!_


End file.
